True healing happens with openness
TSN host Michael Landsberg will share his experience with depression at the annual Breakfast of Champions event.
Collectively, on August 31, hockey fans across North America paused. That’s the day news broke of former NHL player Wade Belak’s suicide. He was only 35 years old and the third NHL hockey player to die in less than four months.
Shortly after, Michael Landsberg, Belak’s friend and host of TSN’s Off The Record, wrote an article reflecting on life, friendship and the bond he and Belak shared through their personal struggles with depression.
Within an hour of being posted on TSN’s website, Landsberg received 1,000 emails. “The reaction was life changing.” So overwhelming, so intense and so personal were the responses, the usually outspoken and thoughtful Landsberg has difficulty putting it into words.
It has, however, solidified something for the sports journalist. He knows his notoriety and own experience with mental illness can be used in a positive way. “Everyone has the power to do good in their lives,” he says. “Because I have a platform, I have the power to share. And it is the most natural thing in the world for me to share what I know about depression.”
Diagnosed with depression more than 14 years ago, Landsberg considers his ability to help reduce the stigma of mental illness as his most important professional calling. He shared his powerful story and message at the 2012 Breakfast of Champions event in London.
“Depression has a way of finding your soul like nothing else can. It isn’t an up and down, it’s not even sadness,” he says. “It’s an encompassing feeling that hits you and removes every bit of enjoyment you have from everything. It’s like your red blood has been replaced by blue blood and you have this melancholy that is impossible to put aside.”
On medication now, he feels good seven out of eight days. On those good days, however, he fears he will spiral down. On the bad days, he fears the worst is yet to come. “It becomes a whole emotional battle not to fear the ‘knock on the door’, and the knock is from depression,” he says.
Despite the profoundly disturbing nature of mental illness, Landsberg believes there still is little sympathy and understanding for people who are struggling every day.
